Lost and never getting found

I kept telling myself that I could do anything as long as I put my mind to it. Today, I found out that you can't always have what you want no matter how hard you wish for it. Your dreams don't always come true, you can believe in them all you want but, you have to do something to make them come alive. I realized that I can't do the things I want to do because I don't have the ability to do them. I don't want to be a failure because that just makes me feel even more terrible about myself. Every where I look I see happy people, and when I look at myself in the mirror I don't know who is looking back at me. I'm a person who is lost and will never be found, I wonder around looking for something to make me come back alive but I don't find anything. My mind is wondering were the true me is and I don't know where she is. I keep wishing that she will come back but so far she hasn't. I walk alone everywhere I go, no one picks me up when I fall, and no one is there for me when I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel so alone that I think that death is the only option and if I could just force myself further that I could end my own life but I know that its wrong. I don't know who I am any more and I don't know what I want from myself and from the people around me. I change me mind so often that I think that I truly don't know what I want for me. I thought that everything would just fall into place but, so far nothing makes sense to me any more. The sky is black and the rain is coming down hard, the wind is blowing me away. As the world around me slow forgets about me, my life is drifting away, as well as me. I slowly disappear into the wind, as I watch my love ones cry for me to return but, I'm already gone.