Dieing

I know i've been writing alot about death but, i have reasons for doing so. My step dad has cancer and i just wanted to write about the time i have with him. He is the one person in this world that i would trust with all my secrets and my life. He is one of the best people i know. I love him like he was my own father, he treats me just like his own. Its sad to think that he wont probably be here this time next year. But i'm telling myself that he will be, which makes it harder on myself in the long run. I pray to God everuy night that he will get better and that he will do what he thinks is best. I love my stepdad but if God decsides to take him i wont be mad with God because there is a reason for everything that he does. I will treasure the time i do have with him and remember the good times we had together over the past couple of years, may God bless him and my family......

LOVE

LOVE it's such a easy word to say but does it really exsist. I have come to fall in love with this one person who means alot to me and I don't know if he even consideres me a lover or not. I love taking that extra step to find out but, not everything you take a risk on turns out to be a good thing. Maybe tgaking the courage to stand up for yourself is a good thing always but what you stand up for can be good and bad. I hope to finbd that person who i will love forever or till i die which ever one comes first but no matter what I will always love you and be here for you even when you are not with me, I will always fill that special way about you. I LOVE YOU  and hope to see you soon.

Two of ME

Sometimes I feel like theres two of me and that I act like a totally different person around people
I know and people I don't like. I hate not being able to show people the real me and not being able to have fun and comfortable around people I care about. Why is that? I want to show people my real self but don't know how, I'm afraid they wouldn't except me or think i'm woerd or swomething. I want to go to public school next year but afraid about  going somewhere new and learning how things operate. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I hope that I figure things out soon and that my family will help me make the final decision.

Life or Death

Sometimes people die because  they have to others because they want too. People do things to their own bodys so the consequences are their falult not someone elses.Then people die or have to live with the chooses they made in the pass thht will effect their future and sometimes ntats not good....We have to live with the chooses we made from when we were young and sometimes we don't have to live with the consequences of our past but, sooner or later the past will catch up with you and you will realize that you messed up big time. We donh't always have to live with the choosoes we made  from when we were young if we try to make the right chooses then we wouldn't have to live with the conseqeunces of our past.