Death is Closer then u think

I just wanna die right Now!!!Life sucks and there is no reason to continue to live on, everyday it gets worse!!! Nothing goes right and I can't ever be happy. I hate myself and everyone around me, I can't pretend to be happy and I wont act like everything is okay, because it's not! Life is never happy any more and everyday I just wanna die even more...I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm such a terrible person so why not end my life and see what comes after it. No one truly loves me and the people that I thought did leave me any ways! I hate everything about me and my life and I can't change it so why try! My dreams will never come true and my life will never be happy again! I hate life so why not end it, you know! I have no reasons know to not end my life, things aren't ever going to get better, but I need to push myself a little further and just kill myself already!!!I can't handle another day like this and I don't need to put up with this Shit any more, nobody has any idea what I go through so don't even try and understand because you don't so just let me kill myself and everyone will be happier and I think the world will be a much happier place without me!! Don't try to change my mind because it wont work and I wont listen to you any ways so don't even try! So goodbye to all the people in this shitty world and I hope that one day you can have the strength to do what I am going to do!!!

Lost and never getting found

I kept telling myself that I could do anything as long as I put my mind to it. Today, I found out that you can't always have what you want no matter how hard you wish for it. Your dreams don't always come true, you can believe in them all you want but, you have to do something to make them come alive. I realized that I can't do the things I want to do because I don't have the ability to do them. I don't want to be a failure because that just makes me feel even more terrible about myself. Every where I look I see happy people, and when I look at myself in the mirror I don't know who is looking back at me. I'm a person who is lost and will never be found, I wonder around looking for something to make me come back alive but I don't find anything. My mind is wondering were the true me is and I don't know where she is. I keep wishing that she will come back but so far she hasn't. I walk alone everywhere I go, no one picks me up when I fall, and no one is there for me when I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel so alone that I think that death is the only option and if I could just force myself further that I could end my own life but I know that its wrong. I don't know who I am any more and I don't know what I want from myself and from the people around me. I change me mind so often that I think that I truly don't know what I want for me. I thought that everything would just fall into place but, so far nothing makes sense to me any more. The sky is black and the rain is coming down hard, the wind is blowing me away. As the world around me slow forgets about me, my life is drifting away, as well as me. I slowly disappear into the wind, as I watch my love ones cry for me to return but, I'm already gone.

The Story of My Life

Do you ever feel like nothing is yours I mean truly yours? Like no matter what you do nothing or no one will ever be truly all yours. It makes me sad to think that I will have to share everything and everyone with something or someone. I hate having the feeling like I can't hold on to that one thing forever and never let it go. Why is it that once you find something you love so much that you can't have all of it or at least most of it without something going wrong? I wont all of you and not just part of you, if you are truly mine then give in and let me have all of you. Please let me love you and care for you like no one else can or would. Let us finally be together and not be torn apart by something so stupid. Let us not be broken up because of this terrible world, we can get through anything as long as we give ourselves over to each other. I want all of you forever and always, you are mine and no one is going to take that away from us.......